As I get older I have less incentive to do anything. It's strange because on one hand I have less time left and on the other hand it seems whatever time I have left will be squandered if I do anything. Nothing really matters but also nothing is stopping me and nothing is likely to change my life. So I sit and do nothing most days. I have some work that I do for money and I keep up to date on what's happening in the world. I help out friends and artists. I make a minimal effort to keep up to date with family though I am not sure if my presence is desired or needed as I've been absent so frequently. Some days I pretend I am going to change and embrace some issue or cause or lifestyle. In reality I am content to wait. I think about things, I speculate, I help out when someone asks. I don't seek out much though.  What if I am waiting for a moment that has already passed. How you know? It's not like a bus schedule.